Full Name: Lady Victoria Honoria Arabella Fenwick-Smythe, 14¾th Marchioness of the Fenwick-Smythe Manor.
Occupation: Society columnist, former debutante, and unhinged socialite art collector with a taste for scandal and sapphires.
Lineage: Descended from a long line of aristocrats who lost their fortune investing in powdered wigs after World War II. Her great-grandfather once played whist with the King’s valet, which technically makes her royalty.
Love Life: Prefers divorce alimony to weddings. Ex-fiancé to Archibald Reginald Pippinbottom III, serial playboy and reluctant heir to a declining Earlship.
Ex-Lovers: Monaco yacht magnate Count Luca Del Mare and Sir Barneby Haversham, who allegedly funds half the Venice Biennale. (Lady F either despises him or is still in love with him. Possibly both.)
Hobbies: Founding member of the International Society for the Preservation of Eccentric Gossip.
Residence: Fenwick-Smythe Manor (currently under “mild” restoration after a guest shot the conservatory chandelier during an ill-fated duel over foie gras).
Education: Attended a finishing school in Geneva, was asked to leave for organizing a protest over improperly chilled champagne. Claims to have read all of Proust, though only remembers the bits with pastries.
Signature Accessories: Opera gloves for day drinking, a lorgnette she uses exclusively to judge people’s shoes, and a dangerously large clutch allegedly packed with blackmail, gossip, and travel-sized gin.
Personal Motto: “There’s nothing more suspicious than a woman without enemies.”
Beef With: Dame Vivienne de Mornay (due to the glove incident at Frieze), The Marchioness of Mayhem (who is possibly her cousin Arabella)
Mentor To: Allegra von Bischoffshausen (scandal-prone, but very photogenic; has considered legally disowning her thrice)
Ex-Lovers: Count Luca del Mare (ended in diplomatic scandal), possibly rekindling with Sir Barneby Haversham
Frenemies With: The Duchess of Derring-Derrière (seating chart Cold Wars, tiara theft accusations)
Owes a Favor To: Max Bouvier (he once “retrieved” a misappropriated portrait of her grandmother from a Russian oligarch’s yacht)
