Young heiress to an Austrian paper fortune. Wildcard. A walking disaster in Balenciaga. PR team’s worst nightmare. Lady F has taken her under her wing as a “project.” Constantly on Page Six, usually barefoot. Collects men and miniature dachshunds.

Scandal Score: ★★★★★

Known For: Wearing a bikini and pearls to a climate summit.

Lady F Says: “She reminds me of myself at that age, only with worse posture.”

Sued By: Lady Octavia Merriweather (Allegra ghosted her interior redesign halfway through)

Owes €30,000 To: Gigi De Rossi (unclear if it’s for a bag, a boat, or bail)

Rumored Fling With: Sergei Volkov (who insists they were “just discussing Fabergé”)

Stole From: Cosima von Lichtenwald (a limited-edition Birkin “borrowed” after brunch)