Role: Mysterious art dealer, taste-maker, and possible international smuggler  

Known For: Acquiring paintings that “technically” never went missing and selling them to buyers who “technically” don’t exist. Once outbid the Vatican at auction—anonymously.

Signature Move: Appearing in shadowy corners of galleries, speaking only in auction lot numbers and veiled threats.

Quote: “Provenance is a suggestion. Taste, however, is law.”

Rumors Include:

• Has a standing table at Café de Flore, but no one’s ever seen him eat.
• Owns a vault in Geneva accessible only by retinal scan and poetry recital.
• Once exchanged a Modigliani for silence during a scandal involving two minor royals, a swan, and an antique harpsichord.